The days when having technical hospitality skills alone would guarantee you a job interview are gone. Today, soft skills have become the most essential requirement for success. That’s because, what truly sets a good venue apart from a great one isn't the efficiency of its processes, it's the quality of its human interactions and delivering exceptional customer service.
For venue managers, soft hospitality skills are both the secret to success and a huge pain point. It's easy to focus on just getting new hires up to speed on the basics, but teaching behaviours like empathy and great communication, requires more nuanced training programs that cover communication, interpersonal skills, teamwork and problem-solving.
Staff who lack these crucial hospitality skills, however, will burn out faster, contribute to a tense work environment, and deliver a service that feels transactional rather than memorable.
Hospitality operators must be able to identify, train and coach the hospitality soft skills to be able to deliver stand out service.
The hospitality soft skills challenge
The term "soft skills" can feel abstract. Unlike mixing a cocktail or cashing out a table, you can't just follow a recipe. These are hospitality skills that are vital for your employees to master, but that you may find difficult to standardise and train.
The core problem in a high-turnover environment is that managers are often too busy fighting fires to dedicate time to proactive soft skills development. Training is rushed, focusing only on the "what" (what to do) and not the "how" (how to interact).
Discover the essential soft hospitality skills your staff need, how to spot those behaviours and practical ways to train them.
What are the soft skills in hospitality?
The seven key essential soft skills for success in hospitality include:
- Communication
- Emotional intelligence
- Adaptability
- Problem solving
- Teamwork
- Adaptability and resilience
- Professionalism
Communication
Communication is the foundation of great service. It goes beyond just speaking clearly, involving active listening to understand a guest's needs, and using non-verbal cues to create a welcoming atmosphere. It's a powerful tool for de-escalating conflicts and making people feel heard and respected.
How to spot it
- Observing body language: Does the team member maintain eye contact when a guest is speaking? Do they nod or use small verbal cues to show they’re engaged?
- Paraphrasing: Do they repeat or rephrase what a guest has said to confirm they've understood the request correctly? For example, "Just to be clear, you’d like the steak medium-rare with the sauce on the side?"
How to coach and train it
- The "Three-sentence rule": Encourage staff to listen for a full three sentences before responding. This prevents them from jumping to conclusions or interrupting and forces them to absorb the full context.
- "Listen-first" huddles: Before a shift, dedicate a few minutes to a huddle where one team member describes a problem. The rest of the team's only job is to listen and then summarise what they heard without offering solutions.
Related courses: Our Customer service essentials learning plan offers a series of courses to train new hires in soft skills to connect and communicate effectively with customers. For managers our Lead communication course helps leaders build a culture of trust with active listening and clear communication.
Emotional intelligence
Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the ability to understand and manage your own emotions, and to recognise and influence the emotions of others. This is the skill that turns a simple transaction into a genuine connection by allowing a team member to show genuine empathy for a guest's frustration or to recognise when a colleague is having a tough day.
How to spot it
- Observing the little things: Does a team member notice when a guest looks overwhelmed? Do they check in on a colleague who seems overwhelmed, angry or stressed?
- Reading non-verbal cues: Do they understand that a guest with folded arms and a tight jaw is signaling a different emotional state than a guest with open hands and a relaxed posture?
How to coach and train it
- Role-playing scenarios: Set up scenarios where one person is a stressed guest and the other is the team member. The goal is to acknowledge and validate the guest’s feelings. Use phrases like, "I can see how that would be frustrating," or "I'm sorry you're having that experience."
- Perspective-taking exercises: During team meetings, ask your staff to share a difficult interaction. Then, ask the rest of the team to brainstorm what the guest or colleague might have been feeling at that moment. This shifts focus from the "problem" to the "person."
Related courses: Our Emotional intelligence course develops self-awareness and self-management and develops emotional agility. Verbal and non-verbal communication coaches on how to use good communication skills, to pick up on non-verbal cues, engage customers and drive action.
Problem-solving
Conflict is inevitable in any fast-paced, high-stress environment. The key isn't to avoid it, but to equip your team with the skills to handle it constructively. The goal is to de-escalate tension, find a mutually acceptable solution, and salvage the relationship, all in a very public setting.
How to spot it
- Remaining calm under pressure: When a guest complains loudly, does the team member stay calm and collected, or do they become flustered or defensive?
- Solution-oriented language: Do they use phrases like, "Let's figure this out," or "What can I do to make this right?" instead of, "That's not my fault," or "There's nothing I can do."
How to coach and train it
- The L.A.S.T. method: This is an easy to remember framework for training conflict resolution and provides a clear strategy for employees to remember and use.
- Listen: Let the guest talk without interruption and actively listen.
- Apologise: Sincerely apologise for the guest's experience and any inconvenience.
- Solve: Offer a solution that the guest agrees with or escalate to management.
- Thank: Thank them for bringing the issue to your attention.
- Empowerment: Give your team members the authority to solve problems on the spot. Whether it's comping a drink or offering a discount, empowerment shows that you trust their judgment.
Related courses: As part of our Customer service essentials learning plan, there are several problem-solving modules. De-escalating conflict course teaches strategies for effective customer conflict resolution while Dealing with customer complaints explores four key principles for responding to customer complaints.
Teamwork
A great front-of-house team can fall apart without strong collaboration with the back-of-house, and vice versa. Soft hospitality skills like clear communication, mutual respect, and a willingness to help are essential for a high-functioning team.
How to spot it
- Open communication: Do team members call out orders clearly? Do they ask for help when they need it and offer help when they see a colleague struggling?
- Respect for all roles: Does a server respect the kitchen's processes, or do they complain loudly when an order is delayed? Does a bartender offer to run food when the kitchen is overwhelmed?
How to coach and train it
- Cross-training: Have your front-of-house team spend a few hours in the kitchen and vice versa. This simple act builds immense empathy and respect, as a server who has seen the chaos of a busy kitchen is less likely to complain.
- Shared goals: Frame team goals around collective success. Instead of "who can sell the most specials," make it "how many tables can we turn over smoothly this shift?" This encourages a collaborative spirit and shifts the focus from individual performance to team success.
Related courses: For managers and leaders, our Lead a team learning plan equips leaders with skills that will help them drive team performance and how to build a culture of open dialogue and constructive feedback. Help staff with our F&B team roles and responsibilities course.
Adaptability and resilience
The environment in hospitality can be highly unpredictable. Adaptability is the capacity to remain calm and efficient amidst sudden changes, while flexibility is the willingness to switch roles or schedules to meet the needs of the business and the team. While you can recruit people who are naturally able to accept uncertainty, for others you may need to support that skill.
How to spot it
- A positive attitude amidst chaos: Do they remain calm and helpful during a sudden rush or when a last-minute large party arrives without a reservation? Do they remain calm and helpful during a sudden rush or when the credit card machine goes down?
- Willingness to pivot: Are they willing to take on a task outside their usual duties when the situation calls for it, such as helping set up for an event or taking an extra table?
How to coach and train it
- Scenario-based drills: During training, present "what if" scenarios. "What if the credit card machine goes down?" or "What if a bus tour arrives 30 minutes early?" This prepares staff to think on their feet.
- Lead by example: When an unexpected change occurs, remain calm and focused as a manager. Your team will mirror your reaction.
- Empower the team: Give your staff the authority to make decisions on the spot to solve problems. When an unpredictable event occurs, empower them to find a solution without needing to seek a manager’s approval for every small detail. This builds their confidence and teaches them to take ownership of the guest experience, even when things don't go according to plan.
Related courses: Within our Customer Service Essentials learning plan your frontline team learn how to provide customer service under pressure.
Professionalism
This skill projects a positive and reliable image. It includes maintaining a positive attitude even during a difficult shift, demonstrating a strong work ethic, and having a great attention to detail in appearance and service delivery.
How to spot it
- Consistency: Are they punctual and ready for their shift? Do they maintain their uniform and personal appearance?
- Reliability: Can you count on them to follow through on a task without needing constant supervision?
How to coach and train it
- Set clear standards: Establish clear guidelines for appearance, conduct, and punctuality.
- Show, don't just tell: Demonstrate a professional demeanour in every interaction you have with staff and guests.
- Praise the details: When you see a team member perform a task with meticulous care, praise them publicly to reinforce the value of professionalism.
Making it stick: The manager’s role in coaching
Training soft skills isn't a one-and-done session. It’s a continuous process that requires a manager’s ongoing commitment and leadership.
Managers should try to lead by example. Your team will mirror your behaviour. If you demonstrate empathy, active listening, and a calm approach to conflict, they will too.
Also try to provide immediate and specific feedback. Don't wait until the end of the month to give feedback. When you see a team member handle a difficult situation well, praise them immediately and specifically. "That was great how you stayed so calm with that customer. I noticed you rephrased their request to make sure you understood it. That's a great example of active listening." Explain what they did and why it was good.
Explore online training platforms that offer courses on communication, conflict resolution, and leadership. These can be great tools for ongoing development and professional growth.
Ultimately, investing in your team's soft hospitality skills is an investment in your business's future. It's how you turn a revolving door into a stable, committed team. It's how you go from just serving people to creating memorable experiences. And that is the true art of hospitality.